Thursday, July 31, 2008

No grown woman should ever do jumping jacks

I had a brutal aerobics class today. I decided not only am I too old to jump rope for 3 minutes, but I should not be forced to do low-jogs or jumping jacks any longer! I have noted a few things I learned in aerobics today I would like to remember before next Tuesday:
1. My favorite part of the class (besides leaving) is the water breaks
2. I spend more time watching the clock then I do looking at the instructor
3. If you wear any sort of sweat pants or shorts with words written on the bum, I will likely stare at your bum throughout the entire class
4. You always have your over-achievers in class the people who have to show-off-I am not one of those people-I am the one furthest from the mirrors, by the window (whispering "help me")
5. I sweat and smell like a man when before, during, and after class-no sophistication here!!
6. I have absolutely no sense of rhythm
7. I can't combo steps are anything that requires more thought then just punch, kick
8. I honestly enjoy to punch during kick boxing. Look out anyone who tries to rob me! Hopefully he has some music on him so I can punch him in-time for the music otherwise I am in serious trouble!
9. I am certain my instructor killed everyone who started the class off with a BMI over 25 by aerobicizing them to death because I don't see them any more...
10. I dislike perky people who look good, still can do high-impact aerobics and talk at the same time!

I miss my old Jazzercise teacher, she would push us but didn't hold me to high expectations! I corrupted her fitness time with shopping, food, and drinks! I think all she drank and ate went straight to MY hips! If you are out there in cyber world I love you kid!

Total Lack of Motivation-ADD Post-Keep up!

Have you ever had those days where you suffer from complete lack of motivation? I am so "mad at the world" today I don't feel like being focused or really doing much of anything today. Do you know what is worse, I am not suffering from PMS or any other female infliction! I just can't seem to "snap out of it". I think part of it is hunger pains at this point, but I am watching my calorie intake after I had a frozen coke this morning. I think the other part is dealing with irrational people making poor decisions. I guess I can't change that, but I am allowing myself to let it fester inside of me.

My posts have been rather dull lately, I haven't done anything stupid (Well besides wearing shoes that cause blisters only because they looked cute)... I think I am suffering from serious monotony in my life. I need a vacation! I need a break from the norm! I need a new outdoor table for my deck..case in point, I also suffer from serious ADD.

Right now all I can think about is going to lunch with co-workers. I have decided I have worms and they need to be fed every 2-hours. My worms are only satisfied with grease and sugar, so salads are definitely out of the question. My company has its bi-annual convention the past two weeks and it is has been a nice break from the chaos that is my work life. We decided to head to lunch to one of the slowest serving restaurants in the finer Newark area to kill time (I never get out for lunch-so this is my vacation). The boys are happy because most of the girls who work there are cute and they have sports on TV, and I will be happy because my worms will be content with chicken wings and nacho chips. Luckily the anti-Christ aerobic instructor will help burn off some of the unnecessary calories tonight when she once again attempts to kill me.

Back to my efforts on not focusing on food and trying to refocus on work tasks..first potty break and socializing!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

wiiiii

Every year I typically task my husband with the impossible to find Christmas gifts. In years past it has ranged from a Furbee to an Xbox. This past year I asked my husband for a Wii and a digital picture frame. I had been talking the Wii up for quite a while figuring he would take the hint and get the Wii. Well, needless to say WE did not get the Wii. I did get a lovely digital picture frame I display at work I endearing term my "Wii frame". Well with some help from my sister-in-law my son gave me a Wii for my birthday. I was ecstatic! I wouldn't say I am a video game junkie but I can see how kids can quickly become addicted. We even have my two-year-old asking to play "bayball" on the Wii now (way to start a bad habit early-add that to my mother ballot check list).
On Saturday, our techie friends had us over to play Rock Band, Guitar Hero, and FIT. Luckily they didn't kick us out of the house after we destroyed their band with our horrible attempts at singing and playing the drums...Trust me these are the kind of friends everyone needs, they are so much fun, they have a boat, they enjoy the same restaurants, have the coolest electronics, and are two of the most friendly and fun people you will ever meet! If we want to have a few drinks and a good time, we call them (and then have to pay them handsomely to use the term "friends- I think we are way behind on those payments due to Wii investments)

Anyway, I decided prior to owning a Wii that I wanted the FIT but after seeing it "in action" I had to have it. Nintendo has not commissioned write this (but I will accept all donations including Rock Band, and Aerosmith games) but I love my Wii and my Mii. So yesterday my husband found a FIT package and snagged it (I am surprised he still did that for me as we had a "discussion" earlier that day that did not end well). Anyway, after aerobics I put my son to bed a bit earlier then usual (much needed Mii time-again Mom award-selfish-check!) and jumped on the Wii! I have to say it is much more difficult then I imagined it to be and believe it or not I am a little more sore then I was after aerobics class. So after the Wii assessed myself as a 47-year-old female (bite me Wii), I tried a few games. I decided I can't hula hoop, I can't ski jump, I can't step, and I can't yoga..well actually I am still trying to decide what I can do...but eventually I can do something! The point is I had fun! I think my husband had fun too. In all reality that is the most amount of bonding we have done since Halo came out and we played that until the wee hours of the morning. So I need to write a letter to Nintendo, thank them for saving my marriage.
So here is today's lessons:
1.Make sure you have a few friends who are very technologically equipped, good at both rock band and guitar hero, own a boat, and like to drink-key to sanity
2. Teach your 2 1/2 year-old to play video games, will provide much needed distraction time for you to do other things and not listen to Go Go (Diego) or Einsteins all the time (warning you may have to help him restart the game-we haven't got him to that level yet, but I assure you, this will happen before potty training).
3. Get a Wii, you will thank me and you too can create your Mii and you both start an eternal bond (yes I need to now create clone friends)
4. After you play Wii fit, enjoy some Cheetos (as I see it you cancel it out after the hard work out you did with your fitness instructor). Your mii will need some energy for tomorrow!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

They Say It's Your Birthday.

Today's my birthday and I am another year older. There is absolutely nothing funny about that what-so-ever. But I have a few stories to tell, pull up a chair, grab your bag of chip/salsa and help me celebrate another year closer to death:
  • Turn on the news today to see there is a hurricane quickly approaching Texas. Now that really is in no way funny but if had a bit of history you would understand. My husband and I met a few really great people on (almost) 9-years ago who were on their honeymoon (call us honeymoon crashers). We all became very FAST friends and try to communicate as much as possible (not as much as we should). We have had a few reunions since our vacation but the best memory I have is our trip to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. I think my husband had the actual hours but we were not in our lovely house for more then 48. We had heard a storm was coming but thought it would die-off. We hit the grocery store and had a lovely dinner out that night and had bought plenty of liquor and food for the neighboring 4-cities. Our friends (the ones currently stranded in Texas-sans les husband) had bought all the groceries to compensate our alcohol purchases. The next morning we made breakfast and looked out the window and saw some neighboring houses boarding-up the windows(..hmm good sign we should get out of dodge?) We reluctantly figured we should call the rental property to see if we should leave. Long story short we had to leave. We tried to cook various meals as our last supper together. The boys were all excited because they were able to throw every piece of furniture including the grill into the pool. I think Sally Struthers would have cried to see all the food we had to throw away during our evacuation process. Doing the logical thing our friends packed-up their son and their rental and headed back to the airport, all of us in tears. The other two couples crammed into this hotel room down in South Carolina and tried to make the best of a vacation going from a 4-star home to a 2-star (at best) hotel (hey it did have a lazy river which was very nice..and you were never in your room..and I got to stop at the Piggly Wiggly-SOLD). Anytime you get the group of us together some disaster seems to happen (typically revolving in over-indulging in the "sauce"-aka alcohol). Funny thing is, typically it is the men? We then took that vacation juju and spent my honeymoon stuck in Hawaii due to the terrible 9-11 incident. I know what you are saying-cry me a river..Unfortunately it isn't very much fun when your hotel is charging full price and you don't have much money left to your name (considered calling Red Cross at one point-Capital One appreciates us not doing so). So the key is NOT to vacation when any of us vacation or tag along with us. The other little tip is travel insurance-buy it-love it! I have used it twice now! So to my friend down on vacation..hold on to the light pole when the wind blows you over! In addition for any future vacations: NONE OF US CAN CHOSE THE DATE, we consult a psychic or meteorologist. If you haven't heard enough about these couples, don't worry I am sure there are plenty more stories to tell in later blogs

  • I have some really great friends at work. I came in this morning and found my office decorated nice (change from the days where people took my keys off my keyboard and re-arranged the letters or dumped the hole punches all over my desk). They had donuts to celebrate and a few of my closer friends bought me some candy and gifts. You know these people know me well when much to my surprise they had catered in Chipotle chips and salsa for me at lunch. So the key to some one's heart is food. For me it is chips salsa!! Oh yes-diet starts again tomorrow!

  • I am totally not WITH it today! I think it is the sugar high mixed with those yummy chips. I continue to send out emails without attachments. I am absolutely aloof! One of my vendors asked me if I had a few too many today already (I wish). I can't seem to get my act together!

So enjoy your day, celebrate quietly with a nice drink, your chips your salsa. Relish in the fact, although I am a ditz in any form of communication, I did remember all undergarments today!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Add this to the How to Dress a Moron Check List

I can't tell you how many times I have left the house with two different color socks. I consistently wear my shirt inside out. Those size stickers on the outside of shirts, worn to numberous events and business meetings. Holes in pants, spots on clothes, deodorant whites on shirts-check, check, check! Have you ever worn a pair of pants come to find as you are walking down the hall at work that some how you had some stow away panties that have made it's way down your pant leg and on the floor for everyone to see (CHECK)? I have also left the house with two different color shoes (at least of the same style)

Today takes the cake on fashion faux pas and pure stupidity! I was running late (as usual) and when I made my way towards work on the horrific commute, I noticed that I didn't have the same support I typically have in my torso region. Now typically I wouldn't notice because I must have bypassed the well-endowed chest line for the large bum and tree trunk thighs line when God put together the blue prints for my body composure. As I looked down to find my water bottle, I noticed I wasn't wearing a bra under my white shirt (and today was not the wet t-shirt contest at work- my mistake). As I tried not to swerve off the road from shock, (I luckily caught this close to home) I was able to turn around and remedy the situation. If I had been much further I would just have to tell people I am protesting gas prices and burnt it on the way here.

Friday, July 18, 2008

I am no longer a "spring chick" but why can't I let it go of MTV reality shows?

Hints why I am old: Driving to work this morning I heard the Prince song 1999. Not only did I graduate college prior to this pivotal year, but I remember thinking when the song first came out how 1999 felt like a million years away. In a way Prince was right 2000 party was over, time for this party girl to live in the real world. Speaking of the REAL WORLD, I give my husband a really hard time about watching the History channel and Discovery channel. I however find it perfectly socially acceptable to continue watching the Hills, Real World, and worse yet Sweet Sixteen. I would say about 10-plus years ago I should have converted to watching VH1 but I can't find myself making that transition, unless Rock of Love is on.. For now, I will continue watching the Hills and Real World until the ratings company reports me to MTV and they call and ask me to discontinue watching these shows or they will contact NBC's in regards to their catch a predator segment.
Worse yet, I don't draw the line at MTV, I also continue to shop at American Eagle, and my personal favorite Lucky Brand (I would shop at that Hollister place but I can't make it through that cologne cloud that lingers at the door-what is that?). So I ask myself, when do I intend to grow-up? Maybe when MTV stops putting less-then reality shows such as the Hills that are so addictive!
Will I be the only lady in the nursing home who will have to take a nap at 6:00 so I can watch the Hills or MTV spring break at the ten spot in the common room? I do think I will look very cute in my PINK PJ bottoms, look out all nursing home hotties!! Party in the common room at 10:00, you bring the Geritol, I will provide the cosmos or scooby doo shots!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

You're right, I am the idiot..

I am so quick to alert someone they are an idiot when driving. Well the "unthinkable" happened today, I was the idiot driver! My mind went adrift (as it does during my long morning commute) and I changed lanes without even signaling (or looking) and I accidentally cut-off someone (not near accident status) in the left lane. He kindly let me know I was "number one in his heart". I had no idea how to react so as I signaled and returned to the right lane he passed me and gave me more choice words. I kindly mouthed "You're right and I am an idiot, also giving him an apology and a wave". Well I could tell the guy didn't know how to react and he sped by me and it was over..I definitely felt like an idiot and wanted to crawl under my dashboard and hide (apparently not legal unless you own a Knight Rider type car and my Cabrio does not qualify as cool enough to trick-out like that). So the term "typical woman driver" applies to me today! I guess that allows me a pass to put on my make-up tonight while driving home or talk on my cell phone since I am already marked as an idiot!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Off the shopping.. moving on to health care costs

Have you ever had one of those days where you knew things were going to go down hill fast? Today is one of those days. I should have absolutely no reason to complain today, the sun is out, I am getting a lot accomplished working from home, and I am down to one more appointment before I sweat like a pig in aerobics class.
Why am I in this "funk"? I think it started with a girl at the eye doctor this morning. Tech Ratchet demanded my insurance card and when I told her I didn't have a vision card she said in a snotty voice "your medical insurance card". OK Miss attitude, I didn't realize you needed my medical card at a vision place! Anyway, had my eye exam and of course my eyes became worse (any worse and I will need to enroll at the school of the blind). So instead of giving me my white cane with red tip, (got that question right on my drivers license test- why can I remember that and not remember my prescription to get a blood draw..more on that later) I had to buy new glasses and contacts. Seriously what is the point of vision insurance? I really think I should suck-up the cost and just move to laser correction because this $600 per-year is killing me! Anyway, once I had my exam the lady who attempted to sell me some coach frames (mind you I would rather be caught dead then in my glasses ) informs me they only did a frame exam and I need to pay the non-covered insurance cost for the contact exam as well. So after seeing the doctor who told me he would swap eye care for a chance to play my company's golf course (why didn't I think of that originally, I would have GLADLY done that once I saw the bill) sat me back down for a 3 minute exam to the tune of another $60. Seriously the cost is all relative at this point ( I even offered to wash dishes in the back, but alas, they go out for lunch- but it did make her laugh). Yesterday I wanted to move off the shopping sauce, but not into a pit of health care costs! $600 later (after the lack of insurance covers a small portion) I am a proud owner of new glasses and new contacts (neither which I left with in-hand). I leave there and en route to get another lovely blood draw I notice I forgot my insurance slip. I bypass the blood draw and go to Kroger where they seem to have lost my prescription. At this point you would think I would have jumped over the counter and slayed some pharmacy techs. However, being mentally stable (questionable) I sustained. I walked around the store and picked-up a few odds and ends and will go back this afternoon. Luckily I get to go back out today and have my blood draw (one of my favorite things to do), pick-up a Chipotle GC for one of my many birthday (avoiding the urge to order chips and salsa or a bowl-no rice-no beans-just chicken..we don't go there enough do we?), go back to Kroger, and prepare for my Nazi aerobics class tonight. Doesn't it bother you when your aerobics teacher talks about dieting and she is a size zero (if that)? She irritates me enough where I want to put her head on a spit by the end of the cardio portion on the class but talking about dieting makes me dislike her that much more! Actually she is the nicest lady in the world (which urks me)!

Oh-as an update from yesterday's shopaholic admittance- I am going to have to delay my rehab visit until I pick-up my goods from the Cheryl's bake sale. I will have you know, I do not eat those myself, I buy the dough balls for last minute picnics/parties and give the packaged cookies as gifts (well except the cut-out cookies-b/c as the transporter of goods, I earned 1 or 2 of those). Not my fault!! The sale is only yearly!! Rehab delayed by 2-days...no signs of withdrawl as of yet, although maybe health care money pit has be a bit sick to my stomach on any sort of spending right now!

Off to my blood draw!

Here is another reason to drink!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Confessions of a shopaholic

It's official, I am no longer in denial, I am a shopaholic. I was given strict instruction I need to cut-back this month so we can attempt to create a savings account and I have done the polar opposite. I shopped! My son has so many clothes there are times he doesn't even wear them before he out grows them. I can never send him into daycare in the clothes I buy as he typically comes home looking as if he had an amazing food fight (and lost) or rolled in dirt the entire day (I wouldn't doubt).
When it comes to shopping I don't always come home with bags of loot, sometimes I will walk away from a bargain and it will fester on me until I go back and make the purchase. 9 out of 10 times it is GONE so then I live with the regret.
I will say I did inherit from my Mother the sense of bargain shopping. I don't pay full price for much of anything but I still spend money.
I am starting my recovery plan TODAY. This means, no running into Target for baby wipes and coming out with $50 worth of "who knows what" (can anyone leave Target for under $50). No more Tuesday mark-down's at Von Maur for this shopper. Goodbye online bargains and eBay. This woman is going straight to shopper rehab and locking the doors inside the house!! Unlike some celeb bimbos into drug rehab, my plan is to go rehab and totally recover!
My life is chalk full of birthdays this month as well, so it will be a true test to see if I can go buy gifts and not come out with anything for myself, my son, or my husband.
I am certain my MasterCard (that typically smokes from so much usage) will need a break from exhaustion. I am also sure the MasterCard people will send flowers as they will think I am gravely ill. However, I am up for the challenge!
God forbid I get laid-off...my son and I will be the best dressed homeless people on the block but we will still be homeless!! Meanwhile my husband will be inside the cardboard box yelling "I TOLD YOU SO"... He will then trade all his Lucky Brand shirts to buy a combination lock to keep me out of the only shelter we have!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

10-commandments for working in an office

I know that I have been hitting the whole religious correlation thing pretty hard this week but wait..I think you can relate even if you do work!
1. If thou are an idiot and make stupid decisions, then thou shalt be mocked and ridiculed
2. If thou does not feel the need to speak with a co-worker thou has the ability to walk faster use an alternate path to a destination including stairs rather then an elevator in order to advert conversation
3. Unless totally unable, thou shalt use the stairs to travel 1 floor-up rather then hold-up the elevator for people who need to travel more then 2-floors
4. If thou pees on the seat thou shalt clean it up!
5. Thou shalt not bang on their keyboard when typing
6. If thou has a cold or needs to clear their throat GET A COUGH DROP rather then adding noise pollution throughout the office or meetings
7. If thou is sick, stay home. People like me who should reside in a "bubble" catch everything and WILL get sick
8. Lunch hours should be mandatory and not limited to 1-hour followed by 1/2-hour nap or gossip time
9. Inevitably if thou are an idiot and make stupid decisions thou shalt be moving up corporate ladder quicker then the worker bees
10. If thou breaks or the jams the community Paleozoic fax machine, printer, or copy machine, attempt to fix it or leave note BROKEN
Can you tell what sort of day I am having! I am hungry now, off to my mandated lunch!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

There is NOTHING Cool about going to the BMV

Today I had the pleasure of getting my driver's license renewed. Like every other idiot in there I should have read the website for policies and procedures because I went there blind unsuspecting of such a long wait not knowing if I needed proof of insurance or simply my old card. I mean, I had my lipstick with me in attempt to take a some what decent mug shot, what more could you need? However, what the website can't prepare you for is the people who always tend to be at the BMV. Clearly some of the conversations I overheard while checking my myspace account (does NO CELL PHONES signs posted also include Internet usage??) was no only inappropriate, but would also make Jerry Springer guests seem like geniuses. For example, this rather LOUD character informing some innocent bystander her story about her son "beating some one's ass" for picking on some 12-year-old girl. Although it could be justified, the details were clearly too graphic for the bystander to take. I could tell by her eyes she was saying "save me" . I thought for a second about changing the conversation and found it more appealing to look at my hairdresser's photos from her wedding. The character on my other side looks like he hitched-up his horse outside and had the tightest wranglers I have ever seen in my life. He felt it necessary to moan the entire time about the 45 minute wait (maybe if he traded his horse in for a blackberry he too could be on myspace stalking his friends and acquaintances and not be so bored). I know most of the people there looked like some caught-red-handed criminals on To Catch a Predator, but were they thinking the same about me?
After you spend your hard-time in Carni-ville, you get this lovely piece of $24 plastic (mind you they don't take credit card-who doesn't take credit card??? McDonalds even takes credit card!!) with an absolutely horrible picture that I will dread showing anyone for the next 4-years. Pray my days of being carded are behind me! Maybe I will purposely lose it and go again through this torture after I get "glammed-up". Then again, who am I kidding, the one trait I got from my Dad was the ability to lose EVERYTHING, I guarantee I will be back in the nut house they call the BMV very soon not by choice!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Here is some vitamin "T" my love..have a nice day!

I had a pretty bad case of the flu this past weekend. After getting a rather late start to my slumber I was awaken by some terrible coughing coming from my bedroom (I tend to shift to the couch when my back bothers me). Oh no! I spread my germ love onward! My husband who never is sick caught this horrible virus that brought me to the brink of death. He finally shuffles out front for some ginger ale about 5:00 and asks me to take the boy to daycare. Let's see flu score: flu bug: 2
healthy immune system: 1

OH NO MY SON IS NEXT!!!

Today would have been the perfect day for monkey man (loving term for son) to be sick, I don't have a lot going on at work today and I could still make it to aerobics tonight. But karma never works like that for me. Tomorrow's are my absolute WORST day of the week (as far as being busy) and Thursdays aren't too far behind. So I wake him up this morning, feel his head..a little warm but not too bad. I give him a dose of vitamin "T" and send him on his merry way. I know what you are thinking, a good Mom would prevent the other kids from catching the virus at day care but he truly did not show any signs and chances are he will be home two days later in the week. Trust me, I have seen parents bring their kids in with spots on them watch them cough-up lungs we try not to do that to our day care. So, I know I am not up for parent of the day today, but can you prevent the inevitable? Besides, I have the cell phone next to me, waiting patiently and unwillingly for that call to come and get him.

Here is hoping all of you stay healthy in this warm weather!

Thou Shalt Not Use Tiffany's name in vain

As a Catholic, I feel I have the obligation to attend sanctuary and worship only one God.
As a shopper I completely follow the same beliefs. A few months back we were taking my son on a trip over to Easton to ride the trolley and play in the fountains. When we went over to watch the sailboats in another fountain and glimpsed across the pond to see the heavens unfold and the clouds part. Could it be? Am I reading the sign right? A Tiffany's in Columbus Ohio? I immediately looked at my husband who shook his head in disbelief. As he groaned at the site of the new complex I looked at him square in the eye and said "hey, at least you don't have to pay for a flight to Vegas, or pay shipping charges now".
What is it about that store that brings me to my knees and do unspeakable chores around the house? Is it the Elsa Pereti collection I so adore? Is it the signature collection or the clock collection? I truly think it has more to do with receiving that little blue box. Thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. Christmas came early my friends!!
The only reason I mention that is I have a birthday coming around the corner (unfortunately) and soon Christmas will be here and instead of that new camera we desperately need, my devotion to my "little blue box" will probably get the better judgement of me.
I will remind you as I do my husband, at least the collections I do like are the cheapest in the lot throughout the store, so I am not all bad... And remember, Thou shalt not use Tiffany's name in vain!

Monday, July 7, 2008

So finally here is a LIKE or rather a Love

video

I absolutely love watching my son play in the fountains at Easton! Is it wrong to mostly enjoy the part where the water shoots right in his face?

I want to be Carrie Bradshaw but I am more of Mary Poppins

I have two parts of my life. I have these glamours dreams and expensive tastes and the nanny life. Take some time to ask my husband why our bank account is non-existent and he will point you to a closet full of shoes or designer purses. I try to justify it with my full-time career, but now that I have a backyard that needs a swing set and my brilliant idea to have my husband slaving over a pond less waterfall in 90-degree heat, I need to give-up my champagne wishes and caviar dreams and accept the fact I am now Mary Poppins. We aren't talking the sweet Julie Andrews version but a definitely less sophisticated version. In order to get my son to clean after he makes a horendous mess (how is that possible in less then 1/2 hour) I need to sing this clean-up song he sings at daycare I do not know the words (nor care to learn). In additon to my nanny skills, I find myself singing Disney songs in the car and not realize they continue to play my ENTIRE trip to work. When I worked at the Disney store I could sing every song to the Lion King, now I must admit I can not only sing it, but recite all the words.
I have a few girlfriends (you know who you are..love ya, mean it) where I will cherish my time at childless dinners, or times by the pool reading gossip magazines, drinking far too much wine, or simply going for a pedicure. I still read-up on my celeb gossip, hot fashions, and home interior trends. But at the end of the day the Burberry purses US weekly subscription have to be substituted with dance lessons swing sets, and killing my husband off slowly with these projects to do in the 90-degree heat.
Next post will likely be a singles ad and I will be longing to be Samantha Jones instead!

I am out of the blogging closet!

I am out of my blogging closet and I am proud. Thank you all for the wonderful feedback and updates. I look forward to sharing some more stories with you soon! Your support and feedback really mean a lot. Leave all grammar and criticisms at the following address nosuchaddress.com.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This world is far too automated

This weekend the family packed-up the jeep for a long weekend in Gatlinburg Tenn . My mother-in-law had a national dance competiton and we were able to tag-along. I have notice my son is finding far too much enjoyment in visiting every restroom in every establishment. I fear his future list life dreams went from a bus driver to a toilet inspector. At first I thought he was into his hygene when he always wanted to wash his hands. Well as you proceed to take him into the restroom he runs back to the toilet and screams "oooh yucky" (we can blame this on day care, not sure where he got that from..but easier to pawn it off on them). Well that is usually followed by me screaming at him to keeps his hands off the germ toilet and out of the water in the bowl. Immediately I am grossed out and can barely look at my son let alone hold him to wash his hands. I dodged back between faucets in an attempt to find an automatic faucet that works. I required more then one squirt of the automatic soap dispenser and it refused my request. I had to jump over to the non-working sink dispenser and back over to the working automatic sink (all while juggling a squirming 2-year-old, diaper bag, and purse-How is that for America's Got Talent). After we were done I waved at the paper towel machine in an attempt to dry his hands that were lingering in the dirty sink (I give up germ boy!!). After searching for a working paper towel holder I couldn't find another one in site. I continued to wave "hello" to the machine until I realized a few minutes later that the machine wasn't automatic, I had to pull the lever. I was so disgusted with the situation I wiped our hands on my pants, and abruptly left. I did however use my shirt bottom to open the germ infested door handle and made my way back to restaurant seat and table that I am sure is both sanitized and serves food that passes all areas of inspection...