Recipe for Disastrous Morning

Prep Time 1.5 Hours

8-hours of restless sleep resulting in moving to the couch out front
10-minutes of sleeping past my wake-up call
1- dog food "land mine" that explodes into pieces as I stumble back towards the bedroom
2-minutes of "discussing" (known to many as arguing) financial concerns with hubby
1-dash of bad hair
Sprinkle of wrinkle in pants
50-minute drive right into sun's path without sunglasses
2-spills of grapefruit juice from spill proof travel mug (only works if you keep the spout covered)
3-ton vehicle riding my tail when I am already driving well above the posted limit
2-cars that cut me off
8-cars that switch lane without the turn signal
NUMEROUS choice words shouted to these past 3 ingredients
1- small animal clearly on a suicide mission to bring his family some food from the other side of the road. Side note-allow animal to make it 1/2 way over the road before sending him back to his "maker" as his family starves to death
5-minutes of radio commercials waiting for a lack-luster celebrity sleaze
20-minutes of lateness
2-minutes of having to dig through my purse hoping and praying I remembered my badge to get into the building
Combine all ingredients and mix well. Once complete bake inside head for the rest of the day praying things turn around and the universe actually smiles upon you..for once!

Voila! You have a horrible morning and a death toll of at least 1.