Did you hear that? Dinosaurs has to go potty again?

I never thought I would see the day where I would take a stuffed animal, de-pants them and sit them on a training potty. The time is coming where I have dreaded before I had a child of my own. Potty training. Honestly, I do not know how to start or what to do. I am WINGING IT BIG TIME!! This week we are introducing the potty a bit harder then normal by undressing his favorite stuffed animal "Dinosaurs" and sitting him on the potty. If Dinosaurs goes potty he gets a sticker. This has resulted in a few potty attempts but nothing successful at this point. I honestly believe he may be the oldest kid in diapers. My son is a bit "head-strong" and really has his own agenda in life. Definitely not easy working with someone like that and when you put three of those personalities in the house it is chaos (and that doesn't include my alpha dog). So this weekend when you are out, having a few drinks, eating a nice dinner think of me. If I am not over checking in on my father who is mending after deciding falling from a neighbor's roof is much easier of an exit then using a ladder (I can joke now because he is on the mend pending an MRI tomorrow), I will be using a lot of carpet cleaner on messes or spending much more time in the bathroom then one should allow.

I am no longer funny..or I have misplaced my laughing juice.

So I am pondering what to blog about today and honestly, I have started about 3-different blogs to all be deleted with a sigh. I have a really great circle of friends that I draw-on from every aspect of my life. If I need someone to cheer me-up I email or call Mendie. If I need a visit from a friend who can just talk and is learning parenting skills along with me, I call Jackie. I need a dose of trends and talk something other then children I email Dawn. If I need a Mom motivation I read my fried Kristen's blog. The list goes on-and on.
But thinking about my dismal state right now I can't remember the last time I had a really good laugh... A laugh where you wipe tears out of your eyes and leaves you giggling for time to come. I can't remember a time lately I had one of those laughs. I have to tell you I have a few BFW (best-friends-at-work as we call ourselves) that I can count-on to make me laugh. One is brutally honest and she also has these off-the-wall comments. You combine her and another great friend at work who seems shy and turns out she is about the least-shy person of all...and it provides a balance to my mundane work life. I need a refill of my laughing potion and one of my two gals is out of town and the other is in a meeting. Alas, makes you thankful for the time you actually have together.

A true huricane hits Ohio?

I live a few miles from the ocean. In fact for me to drive to the ocean it is about a 14-hour drive (not including potty breaks and essential food stops). However, what I lived through yesterday was a bit of an illusion. 70 mph wind gusts, watching trees crack in 1/2 and hit the ground. Seeing our street lights crashing to the pavement. I felt like a storm chaser. I would tell my husband "turn down this street to see what happened to their property". See my life is a bit like a hurricane. I honestly can't sit still to save my life and it drives my husband crazy. We returned from our nice vacation on Friday night. Had a wonderful time but the minute I stepped into the house I kept thinking "what is next..". I didn't want to live with the let-down vacation is over so I try to keep my mind preoccupied. I literally woke-up at 6am planned my meals for the week, booked tickets to see Thomas the Train on Sunday, and started my errands. I can't tell you the last time I watched a full movie or something that wasn't on DVR. The term stop and smell the roses is lost on me. Yesterday when we lost power I went brain dead. I wasn't sure what I could do. The new recipe for lasagna I had made for a nice family dinner was out..the research I needed to do on the computer-forget it. I sat on the couch and thought there had to be something the prehistoric cavemen did without electricity. I then proceeded to pluck my eyebrows and then was able to do a few sewing repairs. After being tired of my Martha Stewart moments, I called my parents to bring dinner to share with them. Right before I left they lost their power. I carted around this useless 9x13 pan of lasagna and pouted all the way to my parents house. Luckily my son was spending some much needed bonding time with his grandparents. I truly believe Kaden was tired of us after 1-week full week of bonding. I swore he was taking his crayons and trying to write a parents-for-sale add to take out on us Saturday after my whirlwind of a day and Bryon's depression after another Buckeye heart breaker. All works out in the end I guess. The lasagna may satisfy our appetites another day, Kaden didn't pack his bags and leave, Parents took us out for a really great meal, Bryon gets a "free day" off from work and I, well I am working...hmm maybe in my next life I will have better luck and a more laid-back personality.

Cheerio from Jolly ole' WET England

Do we have luck when we travel or do we have luck? Before vacation 2-hours to be exact. Bryon was in the doctor's office for a bacteria infection from bad Mexican food..I am totally serious here. We eat at Max & Erma's in the airport and I get very sick in our layover destination. We arrive at destination and Kaden catches a bad cold on the plane. Now, he seems to be improving and I have it 10-full. Today I am laid-up resting. I don't mind as our intent in coming over to visit our "family" was to allow them time with the wild child. I am honestly enjoying the peace and quiet. We have been rather busy and the rain hasn't stopped us one bit. Definitely much chillier then they even anticipated. We went to their seaside boardwalk yesterday. We also have visited the see and a lovely park where Kaden rode an electric train and we even tagged along. We have spent less time at manors and castles and more time in playgrounds. Hopefully our trip back doesn't land us in hospital. Having a lovely time, enjoying the company and definitely enjoying the wine!

UH OH, I jinxed myself

You know that feeling you have in the pit of your stomach when a police car pulls behind you when you know you just aren't driving the speed limit? That is exactly how I feel today. Having a great week, enjoying some freedom. I also have been hitting the gym HARD this week and last night I decide to skip dinner and just eat popcorn at the movies..bleh! Bad idea. I don't necessarily think it is the popcorn but I feel yucky today. I my allergies aren't helping nor the summer heat revenge that I so desperately asked for. I would go home but of course I have a bum chewing, I mean a meeting scheduled at 3:00 today so I can't even duck out. To make matters worse my chic side has a double date tonight at some local Italian place where Mafia hang out. I so hope they would want to adopt me into their Soprano clan even if I don't eat pasta or carry any weapons! Anyway, I am sure I will be fine. I still think it is lack of sleep that is causing all these issues. Darn Olympics! Sure the bolt can run fast, but is it absolutely necessary to celebrate like a chimpanzee? I am quite certain he is the road runner just disguised as a human. I have never seen anyone run so fast in my life. I mean if someone were chasing me with a gun or if there were bargains on Burberry purses I would probably do it.
Anyway, the boy returns tomorrow night. Although I have enjoyed reliving my married without children days, I am ready to see him. I also have a fun evening Saturday planned with a few close girlfriends that will involve good conversation, laughing, drinking, and did I mention a lot of drinking. I have noticed it isn't about the food this time, but the drinks. I think with the amount of alcohol these girls are talking about having I could open a bar. I think we have all had a really rough week and a few drinks will do us good! I am sure my next post will be about being too old to drink so much and hangovers. No matter how many times I remind myself that before I drink my deviant side gets in the way? Where is that deviant devil when I am laying on the bathroom floor or hoping there are a few more aspirin left in the bottle...Have a good weekend.

Smell of notebooks and fresh pencils fill the air

I am sure parents all over the country are rejoicing "Back to school time". To me I feel it is about time those teacher friends' of mine earn their pay checks (only kidding-you have one of the toughest jobs of all-you remind me of that all the time from the pool chair in the summer). Every time I see my cousin, I remind him of his problem child Regina and all the problems she caused him. I am certain he will remember her the rest of his life. Don't feel bad for him, he has since relocated and has a lovely wife, 1 (plus another on-the-way), and of course a great extended family and relocated from NY to Hilliard schools and I am certain gang related violence is less of an issue there. However, if it weren't for Regina and old stories growing-up, we wouldn't know what we would laugh about every time we meet.
Today I get to hear all the stories about friends' kids getting on the bus, or headed to Kindergarten on their first day. I am simply in denial I guess. I know I will be a WRECK when my son starts school. I am certain if he had a choice now he would jump on the bus and drive away. Sometimes I think he would also do that permanently if someone offered him a dum-dum sucker but we will work on that..
For now, I find back-to-school to be a pain. I dread nothing more then seeing the yellow twinkie two cars in front of me stopping at every driveway during my long commute to work. One day a kid dropped his notebook and papers and I found myself thinking, just leave them, if your aren't coordinated enough to walk and hold your notebook or store your papers properly then obviously you probably didn't work real hard on that homework. I felt pretty bad after thinking that, but I was already 20-minutes late and I had a vendor call that day! I am pretty sure karma got the best of me for thinking that anyway. So welcome back kids. I want to ask you that you don't dilly-dally getting on the bus because it holds us commuters up for work. Heaven forbid I actually get out of bed on-time!

I am sans child and hubby and what am I doing to celebrate?

So my son is down with his grandparents in Greenville enjoying all the fried food and sugar he can handle. For now he is due to return on Friday evening. I placed bets with my husband they could call on Wednesday and want us to get him Thursday night (just a hunch). My husband decided to meet some old co-workers at a baseball game! BONUS! NO DINNER COOKING!! I can have my cereal and toast tonight!! So to celebrate, what have I done since I have been home from a LOVELY (sarcasm big time) day at work:
With a nice glass of wine dancing in my pink pj's? Am I playing with my guitar hero game my sister-in-laws got me for my birthday....NOPE!
1) Went to the gym and sweat out 1/4 of the calories I ate at the fair this weekend. Did look and smell very attractive when I crawled to my car.
2) Watered my flowers as I have become the angel of death in the floral department
3) Cleaned my car...note to self need to add shop vac to Christmas list-makes odd sounds and smell like it is on fire
4) Cleaned son's closet-don't think he can fit into 6-month clothing any longer, not sure why it continues to hang there? Found more clothes he may never wear due to sizing variance..need to rethink any shopping I need to do to enhance his wardrobe and maybe refocus on mine ;)
5) Gathered clothes for upcoming trip for son-no worries, he is covered on clothing for the next two-weeks (even if he wears 5-outfits a-day)
6) Finally can't stand my stench and shower
7) Watch Olympics yet again...
8) I am worse then Martha Stewart, in fact she would thunk me in the head and tell me to get out and enjoy. I am not even The Brady Mom (name slips my mind), I am Alice from the Brady's. I clean...pretty soon I will get a visit from Sam the butcher. Hey, at least it gives me something to look forward to later tonight!
I am pathetic...tomorrow, I am going out if it kills me.

Quick Survey: Is anyone else having a hard time getting up in the morning when it is dark out?