Sorry folks I am on vacation

What are some pre-vacation rituals you do before your vacation?
Do you find yourself in vacation mode and suddenly become more unproductive then normal? Do you stare at your work clock counting the minute until you get to fly the coop? Do you wonder what time you are going to fit in a pedicure? Do you buy a new beach tote for no reason other then it is so darn cute? While discussing inventory numbers does your mind shift to whether or not you packed your son's vitamins? I think I suffer if you answer "yes" to many of these questions then like me, you suffer from vacationitis. I am suffering so bad my brain has checked out yesterday about 4:00. The crazy part is I have so much I need to accomplish, including finishing-up projects here at work. Cooking for a cook-out tomorrow following my son's dance recital. All of that is taking a backseat to having my bushy eyebrows waxed and a nice pedicure! I found a cure for vacationitis...it is called a boat drink and a lounge chair on the ocean.
Besides packing what are some of your rituals?
I am loading my XM player with some of my favorite songs.
Listening to Radio Margaritaville except when they try to sneak some country music in on me.. you can't fool me..Kenny C is not island music XM!!
Obviously getting my toes done
Buying a new pair of flip flops
Stock-up on all my trash magazines so I can find out the truth on Jon &Kate from Us weekly..ha ha.
Inevitably I will forget something, typically it is items such as undergarments (guilty TWICE), razor or deodorant. So basically I am the hairy sleazy girl who stinks...how sexy is that? Let me know if you ever want me to join you on a trip!


You know what the only thing better then vacation? Planning your next vacation?

Unfortunately my next post will be about beach depression and how fat I am...How depressing!

Be back the 27th my dear friends!

Take a Number

Ever feel like the world is totally against you? Have you had one of those days that one thing after another goes wrong. The type of day where you wish you could just head back to bed and hibernate until the next day. You would think those type of days would sincerely make you appreciate the good days, but they don't!
Yesterday was one of those fun days! I woke-up yesterday feeling absolutely horrible. Thanks to the lovely Ohio pollen levels I could barely breath and my stomach was so upset I could barely function. I dreaded my drive with the "idiot patrol" that was what I term my fellow drivers that share my daily commute. I figured a quick stop to McDonalds would either further punish my stomach or make the misery end. I was short exact change by one stinking penny. Why is it you find pennies all over the place but not when you need them. So bought my orange drink and yogurt parfait and headed to work late..well after fielding various phone calls from upset co-workers and vendors I figured that the day could be changed to my day of HELL. In addition of fun, I was able to pick-up my bridesmaid dress that cost me a lovely $84 to get adjusted. On top of that I wonder what other insults to endure from the alteration person. Last week she told me that I had a bootie...lovely, thanks lady! I also had to return a package that cost me $16 to ship via ground..are you kidding me?! It wasn't that heavy!! I pick-up my son from school and he tells me he doesn't want to go and I am no his friend...again? My typically response is "fine you can't come to my birthday party-trust me, I can dumb myself down to a 3-year-old level without any problems boy..do you know who you are messing with"? Today I said.."take a number" and he yells out "3". Who is the Witty one now? One way to turn my frown upside down!

Thanks to post reminder of a dear friend of mine I am going to try to post a little more often then I have before..

Only on Fridays

I am a practicing Catholic. This means I carry so much guilt around in my life I have ulcer scares monthly. It also means I can't have meat on Friday's during Lent-or chocolate as I give it up as my Lenten sacrifice. I am not a huge carnivore to begin with. I quite like vegetables and any sort of red in my meat makes me cringe. I don't like touching raw meat or preparing any dish with meat included. I made bacon a few months back and found there to be pig hairs still on the bacon. I am just starting to eat bacon again after the incident. However, thinking about it makes me gag. The only time I crave meat is Lenten Fridays. The only time I crave chocolate is Lent. Bryon's family informed me Sundays are exceptions for Lenten promises and it all ends Saturdays before Easter at noon. At first I agreed because a peanut butter egg tastes so good (why are those ten times better then the other cups you can get year-round-even the pumpkins and the trees) and I couldn't wait another day. Now I figure I waited this long what is another day? I will wait for the Easter bunny to bring me the eggs (full size one's Mr. Bryon bunny) and I can have 1 or 2 after church! I guarantee the Friday after Easter I will NOT want meat or see any chocolate. Always want what you can't have!!

Mom's wish was granted

From what my parent's told me, I was a good baby and child. I think my teenage years definitely made him lose his hair and cause many in the house, including the dogs their white hair! I recall my Mom saying someday I hope you have a child just like you (I must have been very bad at the time she said that) because apparently I now have the wild-man at school. In the last week I have been told my son has bit, pushed, kicked and has an odd obsession with scissors and isn't progressing quickly. As a child who rarely was in trouble at school I was defeated, I had tears welling in my eyes after being confronted by the teacher at school. I immediately called Bryon and told him "call the school director and make an appointment and plan on searching out a new school shortly". We spent the weekend shopping for CRAP (how my son says craft) supplies. I am leery about scissors in the first place but found he quite enjoyed cutting paper and gluing. I was surprised. He has an attention span of a flea but managed to sit still for over 10-minutes doing "crap". The meeting with the director went surprisingly well this week. Actually, over-all this week was pretty good for this sophisticated lady. I am sure I jinxed myself but I will take the few days of good luck I have had. Hopefully we will continue doing "crap" at home and my son won't be marked with the scarlet letter for much longer..then we will move to 100% potty trained right? Baby step. If this doesn't work, I need to either enroll him in ultimate fighting classes now or reserve a cell at the county jail!

C'est La Vie

I think the best approach to have on life is c'est la vie. I think if I could be remembered by anything in my life it will be the terms c'est la vie.

Last week was mal (thanks to all those years of French this is the only pieces I remember). When I look back on it it made me laugh how sick to my stomach I was with worry. I truly think my ulcer will be arriving shortly due to the amount of worrying I do (or the diet coke I drink). This week thus far hasn't been so bad, but I don't want to jinx myself as of yet. I think I had my breaking point yesterday and literally hit the last straw and couldn't worry about anything else in my life.
My director here at work is pregnant and has a doctor appointment today and the weigh-in. To me, nothing is WORSE then that weight in. I would wear the lightest close, take off my shoes. I would shed every layer I could before getting on that scale! I was in hysterics laughing about that today. Here I come loony bin!

I decided to add some more important things I want to share with my son someday, a little Mom wisdom:

1) Always hold the door for women and even other men-that is just RUDE!
2) Always get the car door for women
3) You can retake a test but never repeat last night (maybe won't share that with him until after college)
4) Unlike your Mom don't trust everyone in your life because chances are you will get stabbed in the back more times you can count
5) You took FAR too long to potty train
6) Your stubbornness is from your father
7) Your fashion sense is from your mother
8) Please and Thank you for EVERYTHING
9) Don't drive like an idiot like all the other people around me
10) I will be monitoring your facebook and myspace accounts
11) C'est La Vie my dear boy!!

Wow people do like my blogs..no seriously what are you taking?

I have had a few questions about letting my blog lapse (maybe not an army of people but nice to be appreciated). Truth of the matter is, I try to keep this light and but I haven't had anything worth writing about. I don't know if it is an age thing but I don't think I am very funny lately. Ok, granted my company just laid-off 300 people last week in front of our eyes and I lost a few very dear people to me. Maybe it could be the mandatory salary cut I had. I wish I could even place the blame on my winter blues, But enough!!! I need to give my sour puss attitude a kick in the butt and try to get motivated to write again and entertain myself. I do have a topic I want to get off my chest...
This blog I call

Life is a big FAT money pit

Have you heard the saying in 3's. Usually it references people passing away, or pregnancies around the office. Well my 3's have to do with luck and superstition. Those who know me, understand my glass is only 1/2 full. I have always been pessimistic. I make a wonderful friend don't I? I guess 3 can also be considered the number of people I expect attending my funeral based on that information.

Honestly though. I will have a good day and I am certain the next day will be a bad day or the next week. I am the person who says to myself (usually in my head), if I make this shot into the trashcan xx will happen, if I miss the opposite. Well my 3's usually center around luck. If anyone gives us an estimate for a doctor bill or for repair service I can expect to pay the HIGH and most of the time beyond that. I managed to break my tooth on a conversation heart a few weeks back. The $.01 cent heart cost me $200 plus dollars for a partial crown. On top of paying that co-pay I got the agony of 2 dentist visits and Novocaine, Yippee paying for pain! Car repairs are the same for us. I expect to pay around $500 for a service and it is typically much more then that. My poor little cabrio is screaming for brakes and tires and I get to pick one. I figure one keeps me moving will probably win and hopefully the tree or the bumper of the car in front of me will help me stop. I rarely can go one day without spending a dime on something that we need for the car, the house, or a bill of some sorts. I still have a love for shopping but I have to be honest with my shopping mates, I have not bought any article of clothing or purse for my son or myself in quite a while. Unless you count pull-up's which we need to put a stop to real quick. Potty training since October and still no "big boy robot panties (yes that is what he calls them)" full-time.
So my bad luck tends to fall in my category of 3's and if I am on a hot luck streak I am always looking for the shoe to fall. Anyway, if you still want to be my friend I promise to add some more blogs but I can't promise funny or delightful, because well that isn't me or at least until the sun is shining and it is above 60-degrees. Or I am holding a the larger half of a wishbone and a rabbits foot in my hand.

Thanks for caring enough to let me know you missed me.

I am selfish when it comes to one thing at Christmas

I can honestly say it is better to give then receive at Christmas. I love giving that perfect gift at Christmas or that gift card that will go to good use. I like providing my parents with a gadget they would NEVER buy themselves or a night out they deserve. Although I have learned NEVER to go astray with my Mom...

However there is one thing I absolutely am selfish about at Christmas. I love my Christmas cards. I send out about 65- 70 cards per year. Many of them are not reciprocated (although I am tracking you) but I love finding cards that are unique and fun and trying to figure out the best way to highlight my son's year. Many of my cards I purchase on vacations or trips to add to the uniqueness. Unfortunately I remembered after I bought my cards in the UK, the square ones are double postage and you don't want to remind your friends yearly that they have to accept a card upon postage due. Not good form! I think that is one thing my generation lacks, correspondance through snail mail. I miss the days of unsolicitated mail like my Grandparents sent. I loved getting letters or cards from family and friends in college (unless you were like the guy I was dating from Harvard and corrected all my grammar and his letters would start "grammar be darned." What a loser, he is probably teaching some place like Brown now-poor guy- and is still declaring himself the grammar police!)

Yesterday we took a ride on the Polar Express with my train crazy son! He loves choo-choo trains. We sat next to this really great couple from Columbus and talked a bit on our journey to the North Pole. She said the funniest thing that just sticks in my head about selfish behavior. When we received our hot chocolate and cookies (just like the movie-without dancing though-very disappointed), she said "I don't share my cookies with anyone". This is after the Dad offered his cookie to the two boys we were provided with them.

There is a few things in my life I don't share with anyone other then emotions. I guess one of them is Christmas cards. I proudly display each of them on my door and a few of the photos of kids remain on my fridge year-round.

My family may disagree, but there isn't too much I am selfish about in my life. I figured if I am not let inside the Pearly Gates because of my Christmas Cards right away, it will be well-worth the wait!

Next post will be why I intend to be a better person in 2009 and some of my New Year's Resolutions.